On May 25, 2010 (Wednesday) God put it very heavily on my heart that I needed to fast. Over and over I told myself that this was just a fluke and I didn’t really need to fast. As the day went on, God made it pretty obvious that He was NOT playing around. So I caved (thankfully) and committed to a 24 hr fast without any solid foods (only 1 can of cream of tomato soup, ½ a smoothie, and a variety of beverages).
I started at 7:30 pm determined as ever that I was going to be so close to God that I could smell his breath. Didn’t turn out how I planned though. I was, initially, so committed to reading my Bible for a whole hour while I was at work (regrettably I didn’t), I said I was going to listen to my 2 sermons on the train to work (couldn’t because I forgot my ipod), I was going to read some Christian literature (forgot the books in my other purse)… nothing was going the way I’d planned.
By 5:30 pm I was growing impatient, dangerously hungry, and unfaithful. I kept saying, “God will be happy that I fasted for 23 hours”, “I should just give up now since I didn’t do most of the things that I said I wasn’t going to do anyway”, and “I knew I couldn’t do it; I eat like ten times a day (my hips don’t lie!)”. The only thing I’d done right is not eat solid foods and I couldn’t see how doing that alone would bring me closer to God.
So at 6:15 pm I gave up. We had just gotten a McDonald’s coupon in the mail and I was going to use it. So I packed up my house shoes and my P.O.ed tummy and set off. On the way, traffic was backed up so I turned on my Joyce Meyer sermon (love her!) to hold me over. She happened to be talking about determinism. There was no way that was a coincidence! The Holy Spirit said, “Listen! This fast is not wasted. You may not have done everything you said you were going to do, but not all is lost. You didn’t keep your promise, but God always keeps his and he said he was going to see you through.”
Yes I bought my McDonald’s but right at this moment (7:26 pm) it is sitting on the counter waiting for me to come through on my end of the fast so God can show me that he always comes through on his. He made it clear to me that in these last few moments he knew what was going to happen all along. He knew I wouldn’t study like I said I would and that I would forget my ipod and miss my sermon. He knew the Devil was going to convince me that it was all in vain and try to get me to let down God, but God had a plan. His plan was to show me that he doesn’t go back on his promise no matter what I do. The Devil distracted me and tempted me all day (and I’d be lying to say I successfully refused him every time). He just knew he’d won.
BUT God used my disobedience and my weakness to show his glory. It is now 7:30 pm and I didn’t finish my fast… God did (I still haven’t eaten any solid foods). I didn’t do all the things I said I would do to be closer to God, but I’m closer anyway because he saw me through like he said he would. I’m writing this for any who take the time to read this. God has used me to show you that even when you don’t do everything you said you’d do for him, as long as you keep trusting him, he’s going to do everything he said he would do for you. All the power and glory to him!!!!! Time to for my fries!
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