Dear you know who,
Is it worth it?
There are horror stories galore with you.
I wanted to help you but my arm isn't long enough to reach that in the massive hole you've dug.
But then again you never asked for my help huh?
Sometimes it takes people like you to remind me that I'm no superwoman; I don't have the ability to 'save' anyone.
I was really hoping you didn't grow up to be the living how-to guide to ruin a life.
You know what? Instead of giving up on you, I'll just wait.
Man, when you come out of this, you are going to have an amazing testimony.
You're going to touch lives & you'll show that no matter how far fall there's always a way out.
I hate that you have to live it to learn it but hey it's all your decision right?
When you hit that hellish bottom what an awesome day that will be because that's when you'll start to make a change.
And guess what! You're making good time on reaching the point where you'll hit that wall so it won't be long.
I just hope you get there before it's too late.
You don't have forever you know.
Believe me your days are numbered and we can all hear the clock ticking.
tick Tick TICK... It's getting almost deafening so I know you hear it.
It's the final countdown sweetheart so do what you gotta do to be where you need to be.
Hope to see you in the good life... I'll save a seat for ya.
Best of luck,
Simone
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saved
I was saved in the past.
I am saved in the present.
I will be saved in the future.
That may just be a worn out phrase to some but only to those who have forgotten what it means.
Saved: to save from danger or possible harm; to keep safe; to keep from being lost; preserve; to deliver from the power and consequences of sin
How can you hear that and not be thankful that it pertains to you?
How can you hear that and not be jealous that it doesn't pertain to you?
Some people are taught to depend on themselves, that no one can save them but them....
In some ways its true.
Only you can let yourself be saved, yet you can't save yourself.
We were born with the desire to be rescued, some of us learn to ignore the feeling and some of us search our whole lives looking for our hero.
I found mine.
I'm not here to boast, I'm here refer you to him.
I admit, sometimes I lose sight and decide to be helpless.
I decide to stop fighting and just let whatever happens happen.
But we have all seen the news and that's what happens when you let 'whatever happens happen'.
Not long after my lapse in judgement I go running back to him begging for protection.
That's not the trap I want to spend the rest of my life trying to get out of.
Enough of pretending that I'm all alone in this fight.
Enough of wondering why I have this responsibility instead of thanking him for trusting me enough to give it to me.
Enough of putting everything else first.
Enough of thinking that this life is all there is.
Enough of listening to everyone else but You.
Enough of doubting Your promises.
Enough of taking You for granted.
Enough of forgetting what I am... and that's SAVED.
I am saved in the present.
I will be saved in the future.
That may just be a worn out phrase to some but only to those who have forgotten what it means.
Saved: to save from danger or possible harm; to keep safe; to keep from being lost; preserve; to deliver from the power and consequences of sin
How can you hear that and not be thankful that it pertains to you?
How can you hear that and not be jealous that it doesn't pertain to you?
Some people are taught to depend on themselves, that no one can save them but them....
In some ways its true.
Only you can let yourself be saved, yet you can't save yourself.
We were born with the desire to be rescued, some of us learn to ignore the feeling and some of us search our whole lives looking for our hero.
I found mine.
I'm not here to boast, I'm here refer you to him.
I admit, sometimes I lose sight and decide to be helpless.
I decide to stop fighting and just let whatever happens happen.
But we have all seen the news and that's what happens when you let 'whatever happens happen'.
Not long after my lapse in judgement I go running back to him begging for protection.
That's not the trap I want to spend the rest of my life trying to get out of.
Enough of pretending that I'm all alone in this fight.
Enough of wondering why I have this responsibility instead of thanking him for trusting me enough to give it to me.
Enough of putting everything else first.
Enough of thinking that this life is all there is.
Enough of listening to everyone else but You.
Enough of doubting Your promises.
Enough of taking You for granted.
Enough of forgetting what I am... and that's SAVED.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
What Else Is New?
Oh how the mighty have fallen, how the tables have turned
Now comes the time for me to apply all the lessons I've learned
Everywhere I go I hear your voice
But I'm afraid to answer and acknowledge that I've made another wrong choice
It was ok when only I knew of my shame
But how am I supposed to go on with life when everything I hear is silenced by you calling my name?
Any other time I would run and find a safe place to hide
Now that's not really much of an option when what I want to run from is inside
I won't say it aloud because they wouldn't understand how I feel
I know its only you who possesses what I need to heal
They don't know 'the more the hurt, the bigger the smile'
You'd think they'd stop falling for my trick since I've been at it awhile
It's all my fault and you just want me to confess
And I can't justify my reasons for giving you any less
You know every little think I say and do
What's the point of even attempting to get away from you?
Every second I just feel so anxious and tense
Why I would do this to myself makes absolutely no sense
So much more than wrong, I couldn't be further from right
I know very well that I'm never going to win this fight
You've got this tight little hold on me of which I begged for
I asked that you make it impossible for me to escape you anymore
It's not that I want to be freed, I won't last if you let me go
I guess I just didn't realize that there's nothing I can do that you wouldn't know
I'm so tired of fighting, I think this is it
Someone for this world? I think I'm the worst possible fit
I was doing so well but got knocked back to square one
I can't face you again after all the things I've done
Same apology, different day
How could you ever love a person who acts this way?
What a sad position I've put myself in
I guess I'll just keep suffering until I turn back to you again
Now comes the time for me to apply all the lessons I've learned
Everywhere I go I hear your voice
But I'm afraid to answer and acknowledge that I've made another wrong choice
It was ok when only I knew of my shame
But how am I supposed to go on with life when everything I hear is silenced by you calling my name?
Any other time I would run and find a safe place to hide
Now that's not really much of an option when what I want to run from is inside
I won't say it aloud because they wouldn't understand how I feel
I know its only you who possesses what I need to heal
They don't know 'the more the hurt, the bigger the smile'
You'd think they'd stop falling for my trick since I've been at it awhile
It's all my fault and you just want me to confess
And I can't justify my reasons for giving you any less
You know every little think I say and do
What's the point of even attempting to get away from you?
Every second I just feel so anxious and tense
Why I would do this to myself makes absolutely no sense
So much more than wrong, I couldn't be further from right
I know very well that I'm never going to win this fight
You've got this tight little hold on me of which I begged for
I asked that you make it impossible for me to escape you anymore
It's not that I want to be freed, I won't last if you let me go
I guess I just didn't realize that there's nothing I can do that you wouldn't know
I'm so tired of fighting, I think this is it
Someone for this world? I think I'm the worst possible fit
I was doing so well but got knocked back to square one
I can't face you again after all the things I've done
Same apology, different day
How could you ever love a person who acts this way?
What a sad position I've put myself in
I guess I'll just keep suffering until I turn back to you again
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Disconnect
My heart is feeling things my head can't comprehend. This is the conversation they have almost everyday... it's amazing.
Head: I don't get it. Please explain.
Heart: There's really no need to. You'd understand completely if
it were you who felt the pain.
Head: Well it just doesn't seem logical. Nothing now makes sense.
Heart: I know, I know, but just think, now all the bad things are
past tense.
Head: But the things happening around us are so bad and you act
as though things are good.
Heart: Oh but things are good and don't worry, this is something
no intellect has ever understood.
Head: Look at everyone else! This isn't how we're supposed to be!
Heart: I don't want to live like everyone else anymore. I've made
a choice, now all the understanding comes through me. You've constantly been under attack but I'm the one who catches the slack. I'm the one who endures the hardships while you get to control what comes in through the eyes and out of the lips. Though your intentions are true and honest, your capacity cannot take us beyond this. Someone found me who will take care of us. You've been blinded and can’t see that he's someone we can trust.
Head: Did you check is credentials to see if he's legit.
Heart: Didn't I just tell you that everytime we blink he proves it?
Head: I don't know this just sounds too good to be true.
Heart: He said you'd say that, he also said that's why he doesn't consult you.
Head: Well I’m in charge. Why didn't he at least come to me first?
Heart: Not anymore, I am the life of this body and it is only through me that he will help considering we were born cursed.
Head: Cursed?! I don't remember anything like that being done.
Heart: You wouldn't, for us it’s been the norm from day one. But for me there were times when I kept feeling his nudge, but you were in control and I knew you wouldn't budge.
Head: You’re right! This is nonsense and won’t last.
Heart: Oh and you’ve always made the best decisions in the past?
Head: Hmm, well what will become of me now that the man in power only talks to you?
Heart: Oh don't worry; there is still plenty for you to do. This won't work if you don't participate but God wants your willingness to cooperate.
Head: I still don't understand the 'who, what, when, where, why, and how' but to you he's made this vow. I want the best for us so I will submit as I am commanded and execute the tasks that I am handed. Forgive me if I temporarily lose sight of our goal and try to take back the control.
Heart: I know it's hard but I am understanding as he's told me to be. Remember we are on the same team, you and me.
Heart: Dear Father,
My mind and I have talked and we are ready to follow your lead. Teach us your will and your way, whatever that may be. I can’t promise that my head will always be compliant learner, but he has agreed to let you have your way and sit on the back burner. Keep us and refresh us because we’re worn out and tired. As you have requested, Satan has been fired. I know you have rescued us and that’s why we are now ‘saved’. We have the desire to be your good little children who are well-behaved. Open up my eyes so that through you I can see. I love you with all that I am and everything you will have me be. I fall heir to You and well taken care of. I promise to bury in my heart that everything you do is done out of love. You will hear me speak of you and to you all the time. I am no longer silenced, walking through life as a mime. Once again, thank you for giving me a new song and I can’t wait to talk to you again before long.
With love,
On the behalf of Simone ‘s mind, heart, body, and soul
Head: I don't get it. Please explain.
Heart: There's really no need to. You'd understand completely if
it were you who felt the pain.
Head: Well it just doesn't seem logical. Nothing now makes sense.
Heart: I know, I know, but just think, now all the bad things are
past tense.
Head: But the things happening around us are so bad and you act
as though things are good.
Heart: Oh but things are good and don't worry, this is something
no intellect has ever understood.
Head: Look at everyone else! This isn't how we're supposed to be!
Heart: I don't want to live like everyone else anymore. I've made
a choice, now all the understanding comes through me. You've constantly been under attack but I'm the one who catches the slack. I'm the one who endures the hardships while you get to control what comes in through the eyes and out of the lips. Though your intentions are true and honest, your capacity cannot take us beyond this. Someone found me who will take care of us. You've been blinded and can’t see that he's someone we can trust.
Head: Did you check is credentials to see if he's legit.
Heart: Didn't I just tell you that everytime we blink he proves it?
Head: I don't know this just sounds too good to be true.
Heart: He said you'd say that, he also said that's why he doesn't consult you.
Head: Well I’m in charge. Why didn't he at least come to me first?
Heart: Not anymore, I am the life of this body and it is only through me that he will help considering we were born cursed.
Head: Cursed?! I don't remember anything like that being done.
Heart: You wouldn't, for us it’s been the norm from day one. But for me there were times when I kept feeling his nudge, but you were in control and I knew you wouldn't budge.
Head: You’re right! This is nonsense and won’t last.
Heart: Oh and you’ve always made the best decisions in the past?
Head: Hmm, well what will become of me now that the man in power only talks to you?
Heart: Oh don't worry; there is still plenty for you to do. This won't work if you don't participate but God wants your willingness to cooperate.
Head: I still don't understand the 'who, what, when, where, why, and how' but to you he's made this vow. I want the best for us so I will submit as I am commanded and execute the tasks that I am handed. Forgive me if I temporarily lose sight of our goal and try to take back the control.
Heart: I know it's hard but I am understanding as he's told me to be. Remember we are on the same team, you and me.
Heart: Dear Father,
My mind and I have talked and we are ready to follow your lead. Teach us your will and your way, whatever that may be. I can’t promise that my head will always be compliant learner, but he has agreed to let you have your way and sit on the back burner. Keep us and refresh us because we’re worn out and tired. As you have requested, Satan has been fired. I know you have rescued us and that’s why we are now ‘saved’. We have the desire to be your good little children who are well-behaved. Open up my eyes so that through you I can see. I love you with all that I am and everything you will have me be. I fall heir to You and well taken care of. I promise to bury in my heart that everything you do is done out of love. You will hear me speak of you and to you all the time. I am no longer silenced, walking through life as a mime. Once again, thank you for giving me a new song and I can’t wait to talk to you again before long.
With love,
On the behalf of Simone ‘s mind, heart, body, and soul
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Choices, Choices, Choices
Sometimes I wonder if I missed my calling,
let the phone ring too many times expecting the machine to pick up.
I think 'maybe the person got the wrong number.'
Or is it that am I afraid of who may be on the other line?
Taking the road less travelled by and all that is a tricky thing.
Not everyone wants to know the reason no one chose it.
Could be the path wasn't worth the trip
Hmm, or maybe some just aren't equipped to travel the same route.
Can you blame me for being a little cautious?
I've made my way down plenty of deadends,
even lost a few people who picked the way I knew wasn't for me.
Take the wrong bus and it might take you everywhere but where you want to go.
All this makes perfect sense but...
Is just standing here in fear of making a bad decision the right choice?
Isn't that a choice in it self, usually the wrong choice?
Am I not making myself an easy target for all against me?
So afraid of choosing that I open myself up for the choice to be made for me.
No, that can't be right.
If I make a mistake at least I can go back and try a differen path,
but if I don't move there's no where to go back to.
Think too much, do too little.
Gotta start somewhere, why not the beginning?
Time is a wastin' and clock is a tickin'
It's time for me to choose.
let the phone ring too many times expecting the machine to pick up.
I think 'maybe the person got the wrong number.'
Or is it that am I afraid of who may be on the other line?
Taking the road less travelled by and all that is a tricky thing.
Not everyone wants to know the reason no one chose it.
Could be the path wasn't worth the trip
Hmm, or maybe some just aren't equipped to travel the same route.
Can you blame me for being a little cautious?
I've made my way down plenty of deadends,
even lost a few people who picked the way I knew wasn't for me.
Take the wrong bus and it might take you everywhere but where you want to go.
All this makes perfect sense but...
Is just standing here in fear of making a bad decision the right choice?
Isn't that a choice in it self, usually the wrong choice?
Am I not making myself an easy target for all against me?
So afraid of choosing that I open myself up for the choice to be made for me.
No, that can't be right.
If I make a mistake at least I can go back and try a differen path,
but if I don't move there's no where to go back to.
Think too much, do too little.
Gotta start somewhere, why not the beginning?
Time is a wastin' and clock is a tickin'
It's time for me to choose.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
My New Roommate
It was starting to get lonely here in my heart
I thought to post ads for the perfect companion but I wasn't sure where to start
Maybe someone loving, thoughtful, calm, and sweet
Someone who I could be excited about bringing my friends home to meet
There was someone, him, who would always show up at the door
But I always declined because he seemed like such a bore
I continuously chose the sly-looking and smooth talking
As opposed to the other guy who I would tell to 'just keep walking'
Well he was a whole lotta trouble,that is, the one who was good with his words
But I'm the one to blame because that's what I'd always heard
So many times I wanted to kick him out but I didn't want to be alone
I let myself get in too deep, too far in the zone
So heartbroken I didn't know if I could take much more
Just in time, there was a knock and the guy who I thought was no fun was at my door
He asked if I'd be willing to let him make his home in my heart with me
I was down to my last resort; how much worse could he be?
He said when he moved in he'd have to redecorate
But the part that got me? He said he wouldn't be satisfied being just my roommate
He told me that if I accepted the offer, the bond would be for life
To show his sincerity he asked me to be his holy wife
I thought this offer was too good to be true
But then again, my happiness was long overdue
My ways, I knew they had to change
But he said he would be more than happy to help me rearrange
So as of now I'm preparing to become a bride
And it's not easy but I'm taking all the differences in my life in stride
Yes, I've stumbled and have made more than one mistake
But that's another burden he took on for my sake
He said the best wedding present was waiting but it was a surprise
And that I would understand what he meant the day I looked him in his eyes
I can't wait to see what my new roommate got me
Oops! I mean the Lord whose bride I am to be
I thought to post ads for the perfect companion but I wasn't sure where to start
Maybe someone loving, thoughtful, calm, and sweet
Someone who I could be excited about bringing my friends home to meet
There was someone, him, who would always show up at the door
But I always declined because he seemed like such a bore
I continuously chose the sly-looking and smooth talking
As opposed to the other guy who I would tell to 'just keep walking'
Well he was a whole lotta trouble,that is, the one who was good with his words
But I'm the one to blame because that's what I'd always heard
So many times I wanted to kick him out but I didn't want to be alone
I let myself get in too deep, too far in the zone
So heartbroken I didn't know if I could take much more
Just in time, there was a knock and the guy who I thought was no fun was at my door
He asked if I'd be willing to let him make his home in my heart with me
I was down to my last resort; how much worse could he be?
He said when he moved in he'd have to redecorate
But the part that got me? He said he wouldn't be satisfied being just my roommate
He told me that if I accepted the offer, the bond would be for life
To show his sincerity he asked me to be his holy wife
I thought this offer was too good to be true
But then again, my happiness was long overdue
My ways, I knew they had to change
But he said he would be more than happy to help me rearrange
So as of now I'm preparing to become a bride
And it's not easy but I'm taking all the differences in my life in stride
Yes, I've stumbled and have made more than one mistake
But that's another burden he took on for my sake
He said the best wedding present was waiting but it was a surprise
And that I would understand what he meant the day I looked him in his eyes
I can't wait to see what my new roommate got me
Oops! I mean the Lord whose bride I am to be
Today was the day
That was the day my heart stopped beating
The day my ears started bleeding
My breath started to stop
And my jaw couldn’t help but drop.
Emotions are a funny thing
Especially so since I’m most familiar with the ever-present, pain.
Fear drops by every now and again
And so, surprise usually pops its head in
But happiness, more like love… those are the ones I look for
Usually that’s what I’m doing when you see me creeping around at the back door
One day I looked in the mirror and was so amazed because, you see
Everything I looked for, the things I hunted were right there just waiting on me
I wasn’t looking for love necessarily in a husband or mate
I’m human so I just really yearned for someone who could relate.
When I bared my soul I really needed someone who would appreciate.
The world, if you let it, can be such a lonely place
Most times I couldn’t even bring myself to tolerate my own face
My life mainly consisted of trying to find my better half
But I was made as a whole; it’s just too bad I didn’t pay more attention in math
My eyes refused to see just how perfect of a match for me I was made to be
All the times I ran, all the traps I set
Really I was the only thing keeping me in emotional debt
I am and have always been the only one
And now all my searching and seeking is finally done
That was the day my heart stopped just beating, and started singing
The same day my ears started bleeding due to the sound of Heaven’s bells ringing
My breath started to stop or maybe it just started to speed
My jaw dropped for it was then that everything in me had been freed
Because it was that day I finally stopped fighting and let God have his way with me.
The day my ears started bleeding
My breath started to stop
And my jaw couldn’t help but drop.
Emotions are a funny thing
Especially so since I’m most familiar with the ever-present, pain.
Fear drops by every now and again
And so, surprise usually pops its head in
But happiness, more like love… those are the ones I look for
Usually that’s what I’m doing when you see me creeping around at the back door
One day I looked in the mirror and was so amazed because, you see
Everything I looked for, the things I hunted were right there just waiting on me
I wasn’t looking for love necessarily in a husband or mate
I’m human so I just really yearned for someone who could relate.
When I bared my soul I really needed someone who would appreciate.
The world, if you let it, can be such a lonely place
Most times I couldn’t even bring myself to tolerate my own face
My life mainly consisted of trying to find my better half
But I was made as a whole; it’s just too bad I didn’t pay more attention in math
My eyes refused to see just how perfect of a match for me I was made to be
All the times I ran, all the traps I set
Really I was the only thing keeping me in emotional debt
I am and have always been the only one
And now all my searching and seeking is finally done
That was the day my heart stopped just beating, and started singing
The same day my ears started bleeding due to the sound of Heaven’s bells ringing
My breath started to stop or maybe it just started to speed
My jaw dropped for it was then that everything in me had been freed
Because it was that day I finally stopped fighting and let God have his way with me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)